Capitalogix

Triumph Through Trials: Becoming Anti-Fragile

Many of our best decisions, timeliest course corrections, or significant innovations occur after a seemingly disastrous occurrence. That's why many psychologists and self-help gurus encourage people to focus on the hidden gift that many of these experiences provide.

It's there if you look for it. That painful event becomes the catalyst for either something new, a better way, or a level-up.

The goal isn't just to survive - it's to thrive. While a robust business can withstand shocks and a resilient business can recover from them, an anti-fragile business improves and grows stronger when exposed to volatility, randomness, disorder, and stressors.  The interesting thing about this concept is that it doesn't mean not fragile. It means things that weaken other systems are actually the things that strengthen you. 

Of course, that's not the case for everyone or every event ... It takes the right mindset and the right actions to turn a trial into a triumph. 

As we see the world changing rapidly, both through AI and through Trump's presidency, I think back to 2008 and how a prior incarnation of algorithms fared against it (spoiler alert: not nearly as well as this time). They say the things that don't kill you make you stronger. Here's my trial into triumph story about that. 

 

Via Howard Getson's YouTube Channel.

Too many people become victims of their circumstances instead of choosing to be the master of their destinies. 

Life is harder for people who live a life of least resistance. Doing the hard things and making the most of bad times makes life better and, ultimately, easier. 

Tony Robbins calls this the Threshold of Control. If you push through the fear and the struggle ... as you persevere, eventually, what was scary becomes easy. You've increased your threshold, and that's often a permanent improvement.  

Here is a list of the seven steps I use to transform almost any situation.

Seven Best Practices for Uncertain Times.

1. Accept Reality: We are where we are. Focus on being complete with what happened before this – and think about this as a new beginning with an even bigger future.
2. Do Something Positive: Take action and build momentum and confidence. Big wins are great. Yet, in scary times, even small items are worth noting, building upon, and stacking. Let progress build positive momentum for you.
3. Take Care of Yourself: Increase your physical activity, meditation, and massage. Take time to eat and sleep well. Many studies show decision-making suffers when you're stressed. Caring for yourself goes a long way to improving many other things.
4. Communicate More: The natural tendency is to hide or to recuperate in private. Instead, be open and receptive to help and ideas from friends, partners, or wherever it may come.
5. Creative Destruction: The old game and the old ways of thinking are over. Shift your energy to what is working. Commit to the result you want rather than the process.
6. Increase Your Options: It often takes a different level of thinking to solve a problem than the level of thinking that got you there in the first place. So, be open to opportunities, new possibilities, and more ways to win.
7. Choose a Bigger Future: Instead of resigning yourself to playing small and doing with less, recognize that a clearing creates space for something even better. Choose what you want and call it into existence through your thoughts and actions.

They say everything happens for a reason. The secret is that you get to choose the reason, what it means to you, and what you're going to do about it. Choose well, and someday, you could look back on this time as one of the best things that ever happened to you.

A Look At Last Week's Tech Breakthroughs

We live in exciting times!

No, I'm not talking about how fast the DOGE team is terraforming government.

I'm talking about how fast the insights of exponential technologies are compounding the real-world implications of where we are and where we are going.

In past issues, we've talked about how quickly the world is changing, how fast innovations happen, and why it's not about today's tools but rather the value and capabilities of the foundational assets we build upon ... and, ultimately, the things that makes possible.

Today's commentary is different from our usual posts. Yes, the inspiration came from my weekly curation of links selected based on what captured my attention or imagination. However, today's post is about the sheer volume and density of groundbreaking innovations competing for mindshare and investment dollars. And while commercial success is a great way to keep score, we'll explore what this accelerating pace of innovation means for our future and the world.

 

So, here is a list of some of the things that made headlines this week.

• After 17 years of research, Microsoft has announced a massive breakthrough in quantum computing, resulting in a new state of matter and their new Majorana 1 chip. 
• Google announced its new AI co-scientist to help accelerate research for scientists ... and it's already finding novel breakthroughs on decade-long problems.  
• xAI released Grok 3, a significant advancement in the reasoning and performance of their LLM and a competitor to other top models like DeepSeek-R1. 
• Clone Robotics unveiled a video of "ProtoClone," a faceless musculoskeletal android robot with 1000 muscles and over 200 degrees of freedom.
• Nvidia and Arc Institute launched a new AI Bio model - Evo 2 - trained on over 100k species. This doesn't just analyze genomes ... it creates them. 
• Sakana.AI introduced the AI CUDA Engineer, an agentic AI system that automates the production of CUDA kernels 10-100x faster than with common machine learning,
• Claude announced their intention to include reasoning and web search in Claude 4.
• France sustained a Nuclear Fusion plasma reaction for 1,337 seconds - a 25% improvement over the previous record. 

Some may not matter to you now. Try re-reading the list while letting yourself be amazed at what is happening!

Any one of these is a momentous achievement that would have sounded like science fiction even 10 years ago. Now, that's one week of achievement. 

As someone whose company invents things for a living, I understand that none of these breakthroughs were actually invented last week. Obviously, a long and winding road leads to each of those announcements. However, it's remarkable to see so many significant innovations reaching the stage of public announcement simultaneously.

It's hard to quantify the impact of these innovations on not only the tech industry - but the world. 

Think about the implications. Google's co-scientist is already solving problems that humans haven't been able to solve for decades. Clone is building robots that will use the next generations of AI to transform how we think about what artificial intelligence looks like. 

Not to mention the improvement in quantum computing and nuclear fusion, industries that I've been paying attention to since the 90s. 

While any of these topics would have made a good article, in my opinion, the whole is more impressive than the sum of its parts.

If I had to pick one of those topics to highlight, I think it's now time to start focusing more on quantum computing. 

To start, here's an hour-long interview with Satya Nadella about Microsoft's new quantum chip - and what it means for AI & business. 

 

via Dwarkesh Patel

Most of you probably aren't interested in watching the whole thing, but here are some of the highlights. 

• They've created a new state of matter called a topological superconductor.
• The qubits created with topological superconductors are fast, reliable, and small ... very small.
• These new qubits are 1/100th of a millimeter, meaning we now have a clear path to a million-qubit processor.
• To put that in perspective, imagine a chip that can fit in the palm of your hand yet can solve problems that even all the computers on Earth today combined can't! 
• Satya doesn't believe in making claims about how quickly AGI is coming.
• However, he believes it is useful and productive to set a benchmark of making the world 10% better.
• He also believes the topological superconductor breakthrough makes quantum computing a practical reality that can happen in a few years - not decades +.

Prepare for things to get more interesting.

We do live in exciting times!

Here Are Some Links For Your Weekly Reading - February 9th, 2025

Here are some of the posts that caught my eye recently. Hope you find something interesting.

Lighter Links:

• OpenAI's Deep Research Smashes Records for the World's Hardest AI Exam, With ChatGPT O3-Mini and DeepSeek Left in Its Wake. (TechRadar)
• You Can Try DeepSeek’s R1 Through Perplexity—without the Security Risk. (FastCompany)
• The Recruitment Effort that Helped Build Elon Musk’s DOGE Army. (Wired)
• Humans are Evolving Before Our Eyes on the Tibetan Plateau. (ScienceAlert)
• How to Naturally Boost Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. (FastCompany)

 

 

Trading Links:

• The True Cost of a Super Bowl Ad? You Don’t Want to Know. (FastCompany)
• Trump Says America Was at Its Richest in the Late 1800s. Is That True? (MarketWatch)
• The “5 Types of Wealth”: Why You’re Wealthier Than You Think. (BigThink)
• America’s Most Generous Philanthropists 2025. (Forbes)
• Why the AI World is Suddenly Obsessed With a 160-Year-Old Economics Paradox. What Is It – And What Does It Mean Today? (NPR)

 

 

Happy Birthday, Mom

Yesterday was my Mother's 85th birthday. 

Her children surprised her with over 60 family and friends at dinner last night. Here is a photo of us with her at the party.

My mom is quite the woman. She went to Cornell, taught Spanish Literature at Temple University, and has volunteered for countless good causes. At 40, as her kids became more self-sufficient, she decided to go to law school and become a lawyer to help those who needed it most. That doesn't even begin to capture it! For example, she still serves as a museum docent and is an active member of many clubs and organizations. In addition, after my Dad died, she chose to serve as a hospice counselor to help families going through that difficult time. After doing that for a while, she decided that she wanted to continue – but in a more positive way. So, to help make things better and easier to bear, she became a clown to bring light to people struggling. That is not a sentence I imagined writing a few years ago.

My mom also loves poems, wordplay, and puzzles.

As part of her celebration, we had everyone (OK, almost everyone) write poems for her. 

I did not write a poem (though I did write something) ... and I also chose not to use ChatGPT (or any other large language model) to help with what I wrote. 

I feel like I should explain that. What I did write, came from the heart.

If my goal had simply been to come up with a poem, I would have used ChatGPT or one of its competitors. The truth is, many people at the event did exactly that, and I was surprised at the quality of their output.

With that said, there's something meaningful about the process of thinking deeply about something (in this case, my Mother) and choosing which things to highlight (or set aside), what to poke fun at, and which things to express gratitude for. The act of thinking and writing is valuable ... separate and apart from the output generated.

The same is true for your life as well. Being and Doing are both important. 

Your identity and strategies combine to create the life you are living. Said a different way, the things you choose to focus on (and what you make them mean) shape your perspective and guide your actions. 

That is also why it's vitally important to consciously create a compelling future that calls you forward (and keep score by tracking your progress in ways that resonate with your values).

Here is a small excerpt from my love note to my Mother.

The Golden rule says “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” But sometimes, it’s important to remember to be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

As I think about you and what I wish for you, Mom, it’s that you’re as kind and understanding to yourself as you’ve been to those around you.

It’s important to recognize the progress you’ve made with the good you’ve done, rather than what could have or should have happened - or how many things you still feel the need to do.

I think one of the most useful definitions of “intelligence” is that it is the ability to get more of what you want - and for you, Mom, I think that is a sense of happiness, contentment, and purpose. In your words - a Happy Heart.

Happy Birthday, Mom … and many more! 

I suspect we all know the power of purpose. With a big enough WHY, the HOWs don't seem to matter.

The average age at this party was probably 80 – and at least one of them was 100! Think how important it is for them to have a sense of purpose and accomplishment!!

But if it is important for them ... it is probably more important to you because of something I call The Time Value of Life (which we'll discuss next week).

Carl Sagan's Foresight from 1996

Carl Sagan was an astronomer and planetary scientist whose most enduring legacy lies in his extraordinary ability to communicate complex ideas to the general public.

Shortly before his death, he participated in an oddly prescient interview about short-form media and public attention. It is worth clicking to hear his clear thoughts about how governments will use ignorance of science and technology to control people.

 

via YouTube

He goes into more detail about this topic in his book, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark."

“I have a foreboding of an America in my children’s or grandchildren’s time—when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the key manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what’s true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness ... the dumbing down of America is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media, the 30 second sound bites (now down to 10 seconds or less), lowest common denominator programming, credulous presentations on pseudoscience and superstition, but especially a kind of celebration of ignorance."  - Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World

With the national outcry at TikTok's ban being upheld in the Supreme Court, this feels even more relevant. 

With TikTok, Instagram Reels, and YouTube Shorts, even 30 seconds of attention sounds generous. Smooth-sounding AI-generated slop only makes it worse.

In many ways, we've even forgotten how to be appropriately skeptical. It's not enough to question authority and look for trusted evidence; you must also question their detractors and replacements. Laziness and ignorance rarely lead to good outcomes.

There is room in life for faith, optimism, and belief. But when you question what's being pushed toward you, how influenced are you by your existing biases and beliefs? It's hard to reason someone out of a position that they did not reason themselves into. 

Do you think America is becoming more or less ignorant? If more, what do you think it would take to reverse that trend?

Here Are Some Links For Your Weekly Reading - January 12th, 2024

Here are some of the posts that caught my eye recently. Hope you find something interesting.

Lighter Links:

• Incarcerated Firefighters Play Key Role in Battling Los Angeles Wildfires. (Particle)
• Transition 2025: A Report the Incoming Trump Administration Should Read. (CFR)
• What Happened to Justin Trudeau? (RollingStone)
• How OpenAI’s Sam Altman is Thinking About AGI and Superintelligence in 2025. (Time)
• AI Could Crack Unsolvable Problems — And Humans Won't Be Able to Understand the Results. (LiveScience)

Trading Links:

• The Insurance Apocalypse – Fire, Money, and Who Gets Burned. (TheBulwark)
• US Top Court Leans Towards TikTok Ban Over Security Concerns. (BBC)
• VCs Say AI Companies Need Proprietary Data to Stand Out From the Pack. (TechCrunch)
• Wall Street Just Got Another Sign that Dealmaking is on the Rebound. (Finance)
• Dow Sees Worst Start to a Year Since 2016 as Fed Rate-Cut Hopes Fade for 2025. (MarketWatch)

How To Achieve Your Personal Goals in 2025

A few weeks ago, I shared an article about annual planning (and how Capitalogix does it.) 

This week, I want to discuss setting and meeting goals. 

I'm a big-picture guy, and I spend a lot of my time thinking about longer-term possibilities, but it's also important to think about your strategy for the coming year. I tend to break that up by Quarters. Lower timeframes than that are more tactical, and I consider that short-term planning or scheduling.

I think of it like using a map. To find the best route, you must start by figuring out where you are and where you want to be.

 

 

Activity, alone, isn't as important as many people hope. Think of it this way ... from where you are, there are infinite potential paths – but motion in a particular direction isn't "progress" if it doesn't take you toward your desired destination.

The right action is far more valuable than merely taking action ... and that means beginning with the end in mind. You are unlikely to hit the target if you aren't aiming at it.

Resolutions only work if you actually "want" to make them happen. It's one thing to hope that something happens; it's another to commit to making it happen. 

With that said, here are some tips. 

• Focus on What You Want.
• Focus on Why You Want It.
• Focus on Ways You Might Get it.
• Focus on Evidence of Progress.

Below, I'll take you through an example of each of the four steps.

Moving Towards a Solution, Rather Than Suffering From the Problem.

Like many people, I have three distinct collections of clothes: my "fat clothes," what I'm currently wearing, and my aspirational wardrobe. This personal reality reflects how our current state often sits between where we've been and where we want to go. Before I started getting healthy, my first instinct was to think, "I need to lose weight." Knowing that "you're fat" isn't helpful … my head quickly translated that to something a tad more positive yet generic, like: "I choose to be healthy and vital and to live a healthy lifestyle."

Blah, blah … They are just words. What I needed was something specific, measurable, and actionable. How about: "I will lose 15 pounds and stop eating after dinner?" OK, but that isn't inspiring, and there isn't much for me to do. I can do better than that—and I need to—if I want to commit to the outcome.

Figure-Out a Big Enough WHY, Rather Than Worrying about the HOW's.

This post isn't about health and fitness; it is about the mindset and techniques for setting empowering goals and plans in any situation.

So, while I could list many ways to lose weight (and I might even remember to do some of them), leveraging a driving force creates momentum. In other words, the first step in "Doing" is knowing WHY you want something.

I really do want to be healthy, fit, and vital (it sure beats the alternatives), and I want to have the energy and confidence to live and enjoy my life fully. The world is my playground, and I want to take advantage of more opportunities to play with family and friends. However, to do those things, I must find better and more sustainable ways to live a healthy lifestyle.

The WHYs are just as important for business goals, too.

Focus on Potential Solutions Rather than Problems or Challenges.

Obstacles Exist. The bad news: I don't eat fish, and I don't like vegetables (unless French Fries are vegetables). My joints aren't close to healthy from years of violent contact sports. I rarely get 7 hours of sleep, and being the CEO of a startup is stressful. The good news: none of those things matter, and even if they did, it just would mean that I have a lot of room for progress.

It is natural to focus on obstacles, but most obstacles are surmountable—with a big enough WHY, I might even choose to start eating vegetables. Instead of dwelling on limitations, use them as a reminder to focus on potential solutions. They are beacons pointing the way.

How do you do it? To focus on solutions, you can make two action-based lists: one is of things To-Do ... and another is of things Not-To-Do.

Here are some of the sample To-Do Items:

• I will drink more water than coffee.
• I will stretch or do basic calisthenics on days I don't go to the gym.
• I will make a healthy shake as a meal replacement rather than a snack or mini-meal.
• I will focus on relaxation and meditation as much as I focus on strength & physical exercises.

Here is the actionable list of Not-To-Do Items.

• I will not buy bigger pants or wear stretchy pants because of an expanding waistline.
• I will not eat snacks out of their container – and will portion out what I want first.
• I will not compare my current level of fitness to what I used to be able to do. Instead, I will focus on my actions and improvement.

Create Healthier Habits.

It is easy to follow a routine. So, here's another tip ... make your routine better. Here are some examples of things you could do to make 'being healthier' happen with less effort.

• Pre-sort your vitamins into daily doses, and keep them by the coffee machine.
• Buy healthy snacks, like fruit, raw nuts, or organic energy bars (instead of chips).
• Enjoy listening to music or a book/podcast during your "exercise time." Dedicating time to something doesn't mean you can't be multitasking.
• Choose to walk the dogs or park at the end of the parking lot, so you get to walk.
• Meet with friends at the gym or a hiking spot rather than at a bar or restaurant.

You get the idea. Get in the habit of looking for ways to create better habits. What habits could you alter slightly to make a big difference? Which things can you automate or outsource?

For three books about the subject, I recommend Tiny Habits by B.J. Fogg, Willpower Doesn't Work by Benjamin Hardy, or Atomic Habits by James Clear. 

Focus on Your Progress.

In this case, it really is about the journey. Instead of tracking how far you have to go ... notice how far you've come. Utilize an internal locus of control. It is about creating energy, momentum, and a sense of possibility. You may have a big, hairy, audacious goal in mind. That's fine, as long as you realize that reaching each milestone along the way is still an accomplishment.

• Find shoes that don't hurt your feet.
• Pick a gym or a personal trainer that you enjoy.
• Run more than two laps without stopping.

It doesn't matter what they are ... they all count as long as you know you are moving in the right direction.

Summary

The point of this exercise was not really to focus on fitness. These techniques and goal-setting tools work in any situation. The principles are:

1. First, determine what you want and why it is important. Then, focus on only the few things that are truly important to you. 
2. Second, find something you can do right now that will move you in the right direction.
3. Third, notice which things create (rather than take) energy. Spend your time on those, and automate or create routines to take care of the rest.
4. Fourth, plan forward but measure backward. Set milestones so that you can recognize and celebrate your progress.

In my business, this translates to having a mission and vision – defining what we want, why it's important, and the basic strategy to achieve it. Then, we create yearly "Big 3" goals that move us toward that long-term vision. Then, the team creates SMARTs (goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely) and KPIs (key performance indicators) or OKRs (Objectives and Key Results) that measure evidence of success. Doing those things lets the team know where to spend their time and whether they're on the right track.

It isn't magic, but it works.

Hope this helped.

If you're interested, here are a few more articles I've written on health and longevity. 

• Getting Healthy: Creating A New Normal
• Living Longer and Healthier
• Snake Oil Or Cure?

Onwards!

Making The Intangible ... Tangible

I remember getting excited when my son finally seemed smart enough that I believed he was more intelligent than our dog. For the record, it took longer than I thought it would.

Likewise, human and chimpanzee infants start out remarkably similar in their early development. But here's where it gets interesting - their developmental paths take dramatically different turns once human babies begin acquiring language. This cognitive fork in the road fundamentally shapes their future capabilities.

Language is a big domino. It allows "chunking" and makes learning new things more efficient, effective, and certain.

Language is powerful in and of itself. Using language consciously is a multiplier.

Today, I want to focus on one such use of language – the power of naming things. 

The Power Of Naming Things

“I read in a book once that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but I've never been able to believe it. I don't believe a rose WOULD be as nice if it was called a thistle or a skunk cabbage.” - L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Before I go into detail, I shot a video on the subject, with a few examples from our business. 

via Capitalogix's YouTube Channel

Having a shared language allows you to communicate, coordinate, and collaborate more efficiently. But it's hard to have a shared language when you're discussing something intangible. 

That's where naming comes in. When you name something, you make the "invisible" visible (for you, your team, and anyone else who might care). 

I've often said the first step is to bring order to chaos. Then, wisdom comes from finer distinctions. Naming is a great way to create a natural taxonomy that helps people understand where they are – and where they are going.

I like thinking of it in comparison to value ladders in marketing. 

Each stage of the value ladder is meant to bring you to the next level. By the time someone gets to the top of the value ladder, they're your ideal customer. In other words, you create a natural pathway for a stranger (meaning someone who doesn't know you well) to follow, to gain value, trust, and momentum onwards ... ultimately, ascending to become someone who believes in, and supports, what you offer and who you are. 

Ultimately, successful collaboration relies on a common language. That is part of the reason naming is so important. The act of naming something makes it real, defines its boundaries and potentialities, and is often the first step toward understanding, adoption, and support. 

Creating "Amplified Intelligence"

There are always answers. We just have to be smart enough. - John Green

Here is an example from our business. When we first started building trading systems, all we had was an idea. Then, we figured out an equation (and more of them). Next, we figured out some methods or techniques ... which became recipes for success. As we progressed, we figured out a growing collection of useful and reliable ways to test, validate, automate, and execute the things we wanted to do (or to filter ... or prevent the things we wanted to avoid or ignore).

It probably seemed chaotic to someone who didn't understand the organizing principles. Fear, uncertainty, and doubt, which inhibit potential customers and stakeholders (such as a business's employees), compound the problem.

Coming up with the right organizing principle (and name) makes it easier to understand, accept, and adopt. For example, many traders and trading firms want to amplify intelligence – meaning they want to make better decisions, take smarter actions, and ultimately perform better (which might mean making and keeping more money). To help firms amplify intelligence, we created the Capitalogix Insight Engine (which is a platform of equations, algorithms, methods, testing tools, automations, and execution capabilities). Within that platform, we have functional components (or modules) that focus on ideas like portfolio construction, sensible diversification, alpha generation, risk management, and allocation strategies. Some of those words may not mean much to you if you're not a trader, but if you are, it creates an order that makes sense and a path from the beginning to the end of the process.

It makes sense. It explains where we are – while informing them about what might come later.

The point is that naming things creates order, structure, and a contextual map of understanding.

It is a compass heading used to navigate and guide in uncertain territory.

On the other hand, beware of the consequences of becoming overly connected to labels. 

Hope that helps.

Are You Ready For The Holidays?

As we near the holidays, you'd think people would be getting cheerier. Jollier, you might say. 

Instead, the holidays tend to bring out the worst in people. 

Why is it often easier to be nice to a stranger (or a dog) than someone you deal with regularly? Emotional baggage is likely the answer. Things like anger, resentment, pain, fear, uncertainty, and doubt are inhibitors that can affect how we interact with others. Frustratingly, our challenges often stem directly from what we bring to each situation ourselves.

It reminded me of one of the earliest videos I shot almost 10 years ago. It highlights the importance of allowing energy to flow freely, enabling individuals to remain focused and resilient in the face of challenges. It doesn't matter what happens ... what matters is what you choose to focus on, make it mean, and choose to do.

 

Sometimes, things don't seem to go well. Despite the annoying evidence to the contrary, it's probably not them ... Which means it is probably you (or at least what you focus on). 

The antidote to negative situations is simple – focus on your progress and the reasons behind your efforts.

The recipe for success (and happiness this holiday season) isn't eggnog ... it is to choose to let energy flow and to have an unrelenting focus on your bigger future.

Bring on 2025!

Thoughts From a New Beginning

My son Zach got married this weekend. 

Watching how thoughtfully and carefully they planned the wedding to keep it intimate and meaningful was heartwarming.

The wedding was for them, with parents and siblings as the only guests. They did it at the location of their first date, had their favorite desserts, and wore non-traditional outfits. I believe they will have a party in the spring.

A wedding is a significant life event. So, I’m sharing a few of the thoughts it triggered.

Since they were born, I have been struck by how similar and different my two sons have been. My older son, Ben, is very analytical and yet surprisingly heart-centered, while Zach is very emotionally-centered and yet very intelligent. That slight difference in their center of gravity has been impactful. Ben has always been a “less is more” kind of guy, while Zach has always been a “more is more” kind of guy.

Nature is funny ... and I believe that how you do something is how you tend to do almost everything. For example, Ben always had a plan — yet, Zach was different ... until he fell in love with rugby, and everything changed. I saw him approach fitness, health, schedules, time, and almost everything differently. That exposes an interesting truth - You don’t tend to win races you don’t want to win. Something deeper has to inspire the effort. When you find something deeper, the rest becomes easier. Even in his 30s, rugby is still his passion. 

As a parent, a small part of me wished that Zach’s focus on rugby had gone to school or business or something ... But that’s not how I really felt. As a father, I knew that once I saw that he knew how to focus on what he wanted, he could focus on anything he wanted. Because once he knew how to do it for one thing, he could do it for anything.

It was like that for me when I met Jennifer – everything changed. I knew so fast. So, when I saw how everything changed for Zach when he met Sloane, I knew the same thing happened.

Here's how I knew he really loved her. Zach’s favorite food groups are cheese fries, bacon, and extra grease. So, his falling in love with a gluten-free vegan (and not only tolerating it – but defending it) showed me something massively important. For the record, he’s been protective and focused on Sloane ever since. And because of that, I know how this turns out.

I want to say how proud I am of Zachary and how happy I am for both of them as we welcome Sloane to the family.

Her love has brought out the best in Zach, and we can’t wait to see the life they’ll build together.

That reminds me of something I thought about several times during the wedding ... it is that love is both a noun and a verb. It’s a thing (a state, a feeling, or even a target) … but it’s also something that you can choose, commit to, and do. The noun without the verb is frustrating - because you couldn’t move towards it and would have to get lucky to experience it. But the verb without the noun would be exhausting because you’d always be searching without finding or driving toward something that you don’t arrive at. This perspective on love as both a state and an action resonates as a natural truth for me. It is like inhaling and exhaling ... one without the other is futile.