Yesterday was my Mother's 85th birthday.
Her children surprised her with over 60 family and friends at dinner last night. Here is a photo of us with her at the party.
My mom is quite the woman. She went to Cornell, taught Spanish Literature at Temple University, and has volunteered for countless good causes. At 40, as her kids became more self-sufficient, she decided to go to law school and become a lawyer to help those who needed it most. That doesn't even begin to capture it! For example, she still serves as a museum docent and is an active member of many clubs and organizations. In addition, after my Dad died, she chose to serve as a hospice counselor to help families going through that difficult time. After doing that for a while, she decided that she wanted to continue – but in a more positive way. So, to help make things better and easier to bear, she became a clown to bring light to people struggling. That is not a sentence I imagined writing a few years ago.
My mom also loves poems, wordplay, and puzzles.
As part of her celebration, we had everyone (OK, almost everyone) write poems for her.
I did not write a poem (though I did write something) ... and I also chose not to use ChatGPT (or any other large language model) to help with what I wrote.
I feel like I should explain that. What I did write, came from the heart.
If my goal had simply been to come up with a poem, I would have used ChatGPT or one of its competitors. The truth is, many people at the event did exactly that, and I was surprised at the quality of their output.
With that said, there's something meaningful about the process of thinking deeply about something (in this case, my Mother) and choosing which things to highlight (or set aside), what to poke fun at, and which things to express gratitude for. The act of thinking and writing is valuable ... separate and apart from the output generated.
The same is true for your life as well. Being and Doing are both important.
Your identity and strategies combine to create the life you are living. Said a different way, the things you choose to focus on (and what you make them mean) shape your perspective and guide your actions.
That is also why it's vitally important to consciously create a compelling future that calls you forward (and keep score by tracking your progress in ways that resonate with your values).
Here is a small excerpt from my love note to my Mother.
The Golden rule says “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” But sometimes, it’s important to remember to be as kind to yourself as you are to others.
As I think about you and what I wish for you, Mom, it’s that you’re as kind and understanding to yourself as you’ve been to those around you.
It’s important to recognize the progress you’ve made with the good you’ve done, rather than what could have or should have happened - or how many things you still feel the need to do.
I think one of the most useful definitions of “intelligence” is that it is the ability to get more of what you want - and for you, Mom, I think that is a sense of happiness, contentment, and purpose. In your words - a Happy Heart.
Happy Birthday, Mom … and many more!
I suspect we all know the power of purpose. With a big enough WHY, the HOWs don't seem to matter.
The average age at this party was probably 80 – and at least one of them was 100! Think how important it is for them to have a sense of purpose and accomplishment!!
But if it is important for them ... it is probably more important to you because of something I call The Time Value of Life (which we'll discuss next week).
