Coping, and the Scary Times Success Manual

With the markets making new lows and volatility shaking investors out and in both directions, I thought this would be a good time to talk about coping with loss.

There are predictable stages in coping with loss. In general you can expect to go through anger, denial, bargaining, despair, and finally acceptance. The stages of grief are normal and to be expected.  Here is a link to a more detailed article about the stages of loss process.

Thought Patterns:

The past few weeks have been brutal. Many people I talked to recently are suffering from "I should have ...", or "if I would have ...", or "if I could have ..." thoughts. What do I mean?  For example,  I might think that things would be better:

• if I would have flattened exposure before the bail-out vote, or
• if I could have held that short a little longer.
  
  

The problem is that thoughts like those cannot affect the past.  They only create more stress and distraction.  They are a lens focused on loss, difficulties, past events, things that are missing, and what you don't want. Think of them as an unhealthy reflex that wastes energy, confidence and time.

Instead the goal is to move forward and feel better.  What follows is a good head-start.

From time to time, economic and political events make people anxious and fearful about their futures. This is one of those times.  In response to requests from their clients for insight on how to thrive when events seem to be beyond their control, Strategic Coach offers ten strategies for transforming negativity and unpredictability into opportunities for growth, progress, and achievement.

They call it the "Scary Times Success Manual", and what follows are some excerpts.  The link to the complete version is below.

Forget about your difficulties, focus on your progress.
Because of some changes, things may not be as easy as they once were. New difficulties can either defeat you or reveal new strengths. Your body's muscles always get stronger from working against resistance. The same is true for the "muscles" in your mind, your spirit, and your character. Treat this whole period of challenge as a time when you can make your greatest progress as a human being.

Forget about events, focus on your responses.
When things are going well, many people think they are actually in control of events. That's why they feel so defeated and depressed when things turn bad. They think they've lost some fundamental ability. The most consistently successful people in the world know they can't control events - but continually work toward greater control over their creative responses to events. Any period when things are uncertain is an excellent time to focus all of your attention and energies on being creatively responsive to all of the unpredictable events that lie ahead.

Forget about what's missing, focus on what's available.
When things change for the worse, many desirable resources are inevitably missing - including information, knowledge, tools, systems, personnel, and capabilities. These deficiencies can paralyze many people, who believe they can't make decisions and take action. A strategic response is to take advantage of every resource that is immediately available in order to achieve as many small results and make as much daily progress as possible. Work with every resource and opportunity at hand, and your confidence will continually grow.

Forget about your complaints, focus on your gratitude.
When times get tough, everyone has to make a fundamental decision: to complain or to be grateful. In an environment where negative sentiment is rampant, the consequences of this decision are much greater. Complaining only attracts negative thoughts and people. Gratitude, on the other hand, creates the opportunity for the best thinking, actions, and results to emerge. Focus on everything that you are grateful for, communicate this, and open yourself each day to the best possible consequences.

Click here to listen to Dan Sullivan present all ten "Scary Times" strategies.
Click here to download MP3 files or Click here to download a PDF version.