At this point, time feels like an illusion. My son, Zach, was recently musing on how nebulous time has felt during quarantine ... ebbing and flowing between passing too fast and lasting an eternity.
But, what does he know?! At 50+ years in age, time flows much differently than it did in my youth...
Right? It's not just me?
Eli Grober wrote a piece for McSweeney's titled "Here's How Time Works Now". It is conspicuously fitting.
Here at Time, we’ve made a few changes you may already be experiencing that we think you should know about. Please see below.
A Minute
A minute used to be sixty seconds long. We thought this could be spiced up. A minute can now either be one hour, or it can take 3.5 seconds. We hope you enjoy this new feature.
A Day
You may remember that a day used to take place over the course of 24 hours. We felt this was too much. A day is now over the moment you first ask yourself, “What time is it?”
It does not matter what time it actually is when you do this. As soon as you ask or think, “What time is it” for the first time that day, even if it is still ten in the morning, it will suddenly be eight at night. Does that make sense?
A Week
A week was once measured over the course of seven days. Our testing showed that this has been way too short, for way too long. So we made a big adjustment: a workweek now takes an entire year. From Monday to Friday, you will feel like it’s been (and you will actually age) an entire year. This is non-negotiable. This brings us to…
A Weekend
A weekend doesn’t exist anymore. You will go to sleep on Friday and you will wake up on Monday with a vague memory that you may have watched an entire TV show (every episode, every season) sometime in the last 48 hours.
Read the Full Article via McSweeney's
What year is it?
