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Being in One Conversation: A QuantumThink Example

I recently took a course called QuantumThink. It was interesting and different than many other courses I had taken.

It laid out a number of techniques and exercises that helped me distinguish when I was acting automatically (rather than consciously) and unnecessarily limiting my sense of opportunities, options, or even what was possible.  

Frankly, I was surprised by how many of my thoughts, beliefs, and decisions were the result of unconscious habits or predictable patterns of behavior.

An Example.  One exercise helped me recognize how fragile my focus had been. Imagine trying to listen to your favorite song. How long do you think you could truly do that without losing focus and having other thoughts intrude (without thinking about your to-do list or other songs that you like, or who you're going to meet with later in the day, etc.)?  For me, the answer was not that long.

More importantly, I recognized that when I'm not aware of my focus, it often wanders.  And I get distracted easily.  Soon I recognized that this happened to me while talking to my wife, while listening to a telephone call, even when ordering food at a restaurant. How can I lose focus on the waitress while I was ordering? Apparently, quite easily.

How About You?  When you're listening to someone talk to you, are you really listening to them - or are you checking e-mail, texting, browsing a website, watching TV, playing a game, or thinking about what you're going to say?  Be honest with yourself; how often are you fully present?  For me, the answer was not nearly enough.

Try listening to one song with your full attention and focus.  Now, imagine how different a conversation with someone important to you would be if you were consciously aware of your intent for them to experience being heard the whole time they were speaking to you. Maybe it is easier to imagine how different it would be for you if someone was fully present when you talked with them?

I suspect that this is an area where many people exhibit a similar weakness. I say that because discussing this with several friends and family members resulted in big changes in our interactions.

This was a small example, and there are lots more.  Even this single distinction can make a material change in your life, if you let it. So give it a try; and visit this website to learn more about QuantumThink.

Coping, and the Scary Times Success Manual

With the markets making new lows and volatility shaking investors out and in both directions, I thought this would be a good time to talk about coping with loss.

There are predictable stages in coping with loss. In general you can expect to go through anger, denial, bargaining, despair, and finally acceptance. The stages of grief are normal and to be expected.  Here is a link to a more detailed article about the stages of loss process.

Thought Patterns:

The past few weeks have been brutal. Many people I talked to recently are suffering from "I should have ...", or "if I would have ...", or "if I could have ..." thoughts. What do I mean?  For example,  I might think that things would be better:

• if I would have flattened exposure before the bail-out vote, or
• if I could have held that short a little longer.
  
  

The problem is that thoughts like those cannot affect the past.  They only create more stress and distraction.  They are a lens focused on loss, difficulties, past events, things that are missing, and what you don't want. Think of them as an unhealthy reflex that wastes energy, confidence and time.

Instead the goal is to move forward and feel better.  What follows is a good head-start.

From time to time, economic and political events make people anxious and fearful about their futures. This is one of those times.  In response to requests from their clients for insight on how to thrive when events seem to be beyond their control, Strategic Coach offers ten strategies for transforming negativity and unpredictability into opportunities for growth, progress, and achievement.

They call it the "Scary Times Success Manual", and what follows are some excerpts.  The link to the complete version is below.

Forget about your difficulties, focus on your progress.
Because of some changes, things may not be as easy as they once were. New difficulties can either defeat you or reveal new strengths. Your body's muscles always get stronger from working against resistance. The same is true for the "muscles" in your mind, your spirit, and your character. Treat this whole period of challenge as a time when you can make your greatest progress as a human being.

Forget about events, focus on your responses.
When things are going well, many people think they are actually in control of events. That's why they feel so defeated and depressed when things turn bad. They think they've lost some fundamental ability. The most consistently successful people in the world know they can't control events - but continually work toward greater control over their creative responses to events. Any period when things are uncertain is an excellent time to focus all of your attention and energies on being creatively responsive to all of the unpredictable events that lie ahead.

Forget about what's missing, focus on what's available.
When things change for the worse, many desirable resources are inevitably missing - including information, knowledge, tools, systems, personnel, and capabilities. These deficiencies can paralyze many people, who believe they can't make decisions and take action. A strategic response is to take advantage of every resource that is immediately available in order to achieve as many small results and make as much daily progress as possible. Work with every resource and opportunity at hand, and your confidence will continually grow.

Forget about your complaints, focus on your gratitude.
When times get tough, everyone has to make a fundamental decision: to complain or to be grateful. In an environment where negative sentiment is rampant, the consequences of this decision are much greater. Complaining only attracts negative thoughts and people. Gratitude, on the other hand, creates the opportunity for the best thinking, actions, and results to emerge. Focus on everything that you are grateful for, communicate this, and open yourself each day to the best possible consequences.

Click here to listen to Dan Sullivan present all ten "Scary Times" strategies.
Click here to download MP3 files or Click here to download a PDF version.

Tough Week?

Last week I wrote that trading is often stressful; and learning how to handle the emotional and physiological response patterns is an important step toward long-term success.

This week the markets were at their manic-depressive best, which can be tough for traders.  Investors were like hyperactive first graders playing musical chairs.

Here are some funny videos of how some people handle their tough week.

The first video shows a man beating his computer.  There is something primal about it that makes it memorable.  I saw this many years ago.  Yet I find myself thinking about this one from time-to-time.  So, I put it first.

Here is the direct link.

I saw this one on on the Huffington Post.  It has a lot going on; way too much to describe.  It is more fun to just watch, anyway.

Here is the direct link.

Finally, this one shows a man in a coffee shop freaking-out after his computer hangs, apparently he has a presentation to give in ten-minutes, so getting arrested seemed like a good idea.

Here is the direct link.  (Hat-Tip to Gelflog)

Help Your Body to Calm Down - And Your Mind Will Follow

 

Trading is often stressful. Learning how to handle the emotional and physiological response patterns is an important step toward long-term success.

During market turmoil, sometimes I notice the seeds of fear, uncertainty, and doubt in my body. Rather than succumbing to this, I have developed a number of coping practices and techniques.

• The first is simply to follow our trading rules and trust in the process;
• The second is to rely on automation as much as possible;  and
  
• The third is to recognize that my body's cues are an important signal for me to take action.

One of the best ways of coping with stress, for me, is to exercise regularly.

Have you ever noticed how animals shake or tremble when they are traumatized? These physical activities may be nature's way of helping discharge stress hormones, purge excess energy and release muscle tension.

For humans, exercise is a pretty close analog to this. I know that I feel better after an hour of brisk activity to get my heart rate up, to sweat, and then to calm down. Somehow this tells my body that the agitation was expected; and now the relaxation is a good and appropriate response, too.

Another technique that works for me is to use music enhanced with tones to help me meditate or relax.  An example of this is the Centerpointe Holosync package.  Another set that I enjoy is Hemi-Sync music from the Monroe Institute.

When I get really stressed, though, my wife tells me that it's time for me to use my "light and sound machine." I think my using it helps her as much as me.

As the name implies, it combines visual and audio stimulation.   So, how does it work?  The short answer is that brain activity naturally falls in-sync with lights flashing at a certain frequencies. And you can encourage certain brain wave patterns by controlling the frequency, color and intensity of the pulses.  Supplementing this with a similar technique based on sound compounds the effect. 

Most of these devices include small LED lights mounted in a pair of eye glasses and headphones. The lights and sounds synchronized by a small control unit.  The mind machine that I use, called a Procyon, includes 50 unique, pre-programmed light and sound stimulation sequences within its internal memory, each designed with a specific goal in mind (for example, relaxation, concentration, accelerated learning, creativity, or rejuvenation). Procyon also has the ability to synchronize with audio material on a CD or MP3 - or with AudioStrobe programs.

Behind your closed eyelids you will see a kaleidoscope of color, layers of fractals and a variety of screensaver-like imagery. Once you get used to it, the experience is quite pleasant. 

It's pretty foo-foo; so I'm not going to pretend that this is 100% scientific and logical. Nonetheless, I believe that it is a lot more than a placebo.  Why? Because I have empirical evidence that it works.

Most importantly, I feel better after I do it. In addition, a biofeedback machine (which measures brain waves, pulse, galvanic skin response and other stress indicators) confirms that the light and sound machine works dramatically and quickly.

It works on almost everyone I've watched try it (and I've done this with CEOs, programmers, traders, staff members, and a bunch of others). However, it does not work on people who fight it.  And I am amazed at how many people fight it, initially.  After a few minutes, most simply let go and let the technology un-ruffle their feathers.

 The possibilities are great, and the technology is effective. However, the only way to truly appreciate the light sound experience is to try a mind machine for yourself.

Doing What Works - Insight Happens in an Instant

Colin Powell said that "There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." 

On the other hand, I've found that insight often happens in an instant. 

In Kung Fu Panda, an overweight,  seemingly uncoordinated panda transforms into the unlikely hero of the story who battles evil and saves his village.  The turning point?  His teacher recognized that during a quest for a snack, nothing could keep our hero from his food.  By integrating that in the training routine, a star was born.

OK, that was a Disney movie.  Maybe you want a real-life example?

My youngest son, Zach, is learning to drive.  Currently, I am working on improving his mental map of where he is, where he is going, and how to get there.

My early assessment was that he did not have much of a sense of direction.  This was making our time in the car together either existentially funny - or stressful - depending on my mood.

"What comes next?" was often followed by a blank look or a head shake. The answer to "Which way do we turn?" was a seemingly random "north," "south," "east," "west," "right," or "left" -- or sometimes several of them.

Apparently, I was asking the wrong questions.  He has an encyclopedic knowledge of where restaurants are, and an uncanny ability to get there.  We just have to plot his course with the right milestones (fast-food, pizza and ice cream).

He explained to me, "hey, I just do what works."  And that makes a lot of sense; I'm just glad he found something that works.

Innovating is Thought Leadership

I've been thinking a lot about innovation lately. It is a form of "thought leadership" ... intuitively identifying the underlying issues and figuring-out the best things to do, now, to transform the situation and create new possibilities.

To paraphrase Peter Drucker, innovation is a tool that transforms challenge into an opportunity for a different business or service. It is capable of being presented as a discipline, capable of being learned, capable of being practiced. 

Learning and innovation go hand in hand. It is often folly to think that what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow. This is a close cousin to the idea that "you are either growing or dying."

"Shining Eyes" - One Buttock Classical Music and Awakening Possibility

Here is a video from the Ted Conference.  Benjamin Zander, conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, expounds on "one-buttock" classical music, awakening possibility and being someone who creates "shining eyes". It was inspirational and funny. 


He is also the author of "The Art of Possibility".

I didn't post this when I first watched the video.  Yet, for some reason, I've thought about this video many times since then.  So, here it is.  Hopefully, you'll like it too.

Contact Juggling: A Little Something Extra

I see this in so many areas of life ... it doesn't take much effort to make major progress.  A little bit more makes you average.  A little bit more, and you excel.  And with sustained focus and energy ... it looks like magic.

Think how much time and effort went into making this look easy.  Note: the first minute is a little slow, then it picks up.  You can scroll ...

Another Amazing Contact Juggler - Watch more free videos