Personal Development

Being in One Conversation: A QuantumThink Example

I recently took a course called QuantumThink. It was interesting and different than many other courses I had taken.

It
laid out a number of techniques and exercises that helped me
distinguish when I was acting automatically (rather than consciously)
and unnecessarily limiting my sense of opportunities, options, or even
what was possible.

Frankly, I was surprised by how many of my
thoughts, beliefs, and decisions were the result of unconscious habits
or predictable patterns of behavior.

An Example.
One exercise helped me recognize how fragile my focus had been. Imagine
trying to listen to your favorite song. How long do you think you could
truly do that without losing focus and having other thoughts intrude
(without thinking about your to-do list or other songs that you like,
or who you're going to meet with later in the day, etc.)? For me, the
answer was not that long.

More importantly, I recognized that
when I'm not aware of my focus, it often wanders. And I get distracted
easily. Soon I recognized that this happened to me while talking to my
wife, while listening to a telephone call, even when ordering food at a
restaurant. How can I lose focus on the waitress while I was ordering?
Apparently, quite easily.

How About You?
When you're listening to someone talk to you, are you really listening
to them – or are you checking e-mail, texting, browsing a website,
watching TV, playing a game, or thinking about what you're going to
say? Be honest with yourself; how often are you fully
present? For me, the answer was not nearly enough.

Try
listening to one song with your full attention and focus. Now, imagine
how different a conversation with someone important to you would be if
you were consciously aware of your intent for them to experience being
heard the whole time they were speaking to you. Maybe it is easier to
imagine how different it would be for you if someone was fully present
when you talked with them?

I suspect that this is an area where
many people exhibit a similar weakness. I say that because discussing
this with several friends and family members resulted in big changes in
our interactions.

This was a small example, and there are lots
more. Even this single distinction can make a material change in your
life, if you let it. So give it a try; and visit this website to learn more about QuantumThink.

November 30, 2008
Being in One Conversation: A QuantumThink Example

I recently took a course called QuantumThink. It was interesting and different than many other courses I had taken.

It
laid out a number of techniques and exercises that helped me
distinguish when I was acting automatically (rather than consciously)
and unnecessarily limiting my sense of opportunities, options, or even
what was possible.

Frankly, I was surprised by how many of my
thoughts, beliefs, and decisions were the result of unconscious habits
or predictable patterns of behavior.

An Example.
One exercise helped me recognize how fragile my focus had been. Imagine
trying to listen to your favorite song. How long do you think you could
truly do that without losing focus and having other thoughts intrude
(without thinking about your to-do list or other songs that you like,
or who you're going to meet with later in the day, etc.)? For me, the
answer was not that long.

More importantly, I recognized that
when I'm not aware of my focus, it often wanders. And I get distracted
easily. Soon I recognized that this happened to me while talking to my
wife, while listening to a telephone call, even when ordering food at a
restaurant. How can I lose focus on the waitress while I was ordering?
Apparently, quite easily.

How About You?
When you're listening to someone talk to you, are you really listening
to them – or are you checking e-mail, texting, browsing a website,
watching TV, playing a game, or thinking about what you're going to
say? Be honest with yourself; how often are you fully
present? For me, the answer was not nearly enough.

Try
listening to one song with your full attention and focus. Now, imagine
how different a conversation with someone important to you would be if
you were consciously aware of your intent for them to experience being
heard the whole time they were speaking to you. Maybe it is easier to
imagine how different it would be for you if someone was fully present
when you talked with them?

I suspect that this is an area where
many people exhibit a similar weakness. I say that because discussing
this with several friends and family members resulted in big changes in
our interactions.

This was a small example, and there are lots
more. Even this single distinction can make a material change in your
life, if you let it. So give it a try; and visit this website to learn more about QuantumThink.

November 30, 2008
Coping, and the Scary Times Success Manual
With the markets making new lows and volatility shaking
investors out and in both directions, I thought this would be a good time to
talk about coping with loss.

There are predictable stages in coping with loss. In general you can expect to
go through anger, denial, bargaining,
despair, and finally acceptance. The stages of
grief are normal and to be expected. Here is a link to a more detailed
article about the stages of loss process.

Thought Patterns:

The past few weeks have been brutal. Many people I talked to recently are
suffering from "I should have …", or "if I
would have …", or "if I could have …"
thoughts. What do I mean? For example, I might think that things
would be better:
- if I would have flattened
  exposure before the bail-out vote, or
- if I could have held that short a little longer.
The
problem is that thoughts like those cannot affect the past. They only
create more stress and distraction. They are a lens focused on loss,
difficulties, past events, things that are missing, and what you don't want.
Think of them as an unhealthy reflex that wastes energy, confidence and time.

Instead the goal is to move forward and feel better. What follows is a
good head-start.

From time to time, economic and political events make people anxious and
fearful about their futures. This is one of those times. In response to
requests from their clients for insight on how to thrive when events seem to be
beyond their control, Strategic Coach offers ten
strategies for transforming negativity and unpredictability into opportunities
for growth, progress, and achievement.

They call it the "Scary Times Success Manual", and what follows are
some excerpts. The link to the complete version is below.

Forget about your difficulties, focus on your progress.
Because of some changes, things may not be as easy as they once were. New
difficulties can either defeat you or reveal new strengths. Your body's muscles
always get stronger from working against resistance. The same is true for the
"muscles" in your mind, your spirit, and your character. Treat this
whole period of challenge as a time when you can make your greatest progress as
a human being.

Forget about events, focus on your responses.
When things are going well, many people think they are actually in control of
events. That's why they feel so defeated and depressed when things turn bad.
They think they've lost some fundamental ability. The most consistently
successful people in the world know they can't control events – but continually
work toward greater control over their creative responses to events. Any period
when things are uncertain is an excellent time to focus all of your attention
and energies on being creatively responsive to all of the unpredictable events
that lie ahead.

Forget about what's missing, focus on what's available.
When things change for the worse, many desirable resources are inevitably
missing – including information, knowledge, tools, systems, personnel, and
capabilities. These deficiencies can paralyze many people, who believe they
can't make decisions and take action. A strategic response is to take advantage
of every resource that is immediately available in order to achieve as many
small results and make as much daily progress as possible. Work with every
resource and opportunity at hand, and your confidence will continually grow.

Forget about your complaints, focus on your gratitude.
When times get tough, everyone has to make a fundamental decision: to complain
or to be grateful. In an environment where negative sentiment is rampant, the
consequences of this decision are much greater. Complaining only attracts
negative thoughts and people. Gratitude, on the other hand, creates the
opportunity for the best thinking, actions, and results to emerge. Focus on
everything that you are grateful for, communicate this, and open yourself each
day to the best possible consequences.

Click here to listen to Dan Sullivan
present all ten "Scary Times" strategies.
Click here to download MP3 files or Click here to download a PDF version.
October 12, 2008
Coping, and the Scary Times Success Manual
With the markets making new lows and volatility shaking
investors out and in both directions, I thought this would be a good time to
talk about coping with loss.

There are predictable stages in coping with loss. In general you can expect to
go through anger, denial, bargaining,
despair, and finally acceptance. The stages of
grief are normal and to be expected. Here is a link to a more detailed
article about the stages of loss process.

Thought Patterns:

The past few weeks have been brutal. Many people I talked to recently are
suffering from "I should have …", or "if I
would have …", or "if I could have …"
thoughts. What do I mean? For example, I might think that things
would be better:
- if I would have flattened
  exposure before the bail-out vote, or
- if I could have held that short a little longer.
The
problem is that thoughts like those cannot affect the past. They only
create more stress and distraction. They are a lens focused on loss,
difficulties, past events, things that are missing, and what you don't want.
Think of them as an unhealthy reflex that wastes energy, confidence and time.

Instead the goal is to move forward and feel better. What follows is a
good head-start.

From time to time, economic and political events make people anxious and
fearful about their futures. This is one of those times. In response to
requests from their clients for insight on how to thrive when events seem to be
beyond their control, Strategic Coach offers ten
strategies for transforming negativity and unpredictability into opportunities
for growth, progress, and achievement.

They call it the "Scary Times Success Manual", and what follows are
some excerpts. The link to the complete version is below.

Forget about your difficulties, focus on your progress.
Because of some changes, things may not be as easy as they once were. New
difficulties can either defeat you or reveal new strengths. Your body's muscles
always get stronger from working against resistance. The same is true for the
"muscles" in your mind, your spirit, and your character. Treat this
whole period of challenge as a time when you can make your greatest progress as
a human being.

Forget about events, focus on your responses.
When things are going well, many people think they are actually in control of
events. That's why they feel so defeated and depressed when things turn bad.
They think they've lost some fundamental ability. The most consistently
successful people in the world know they can't control events – but continually
work toward greater control over their creative responses to events. Any period
when things are uncertain is an excellent time to focus all of your attention
and energies on being creatively responsive to all of the unpredictable events
that lie ahead.

Forget about what's missing, focus on what's available.
When things change for the worse, many desirable resources are inevitably
missing – including information, knowledge, tools, systems, personnel, and
capabilities. These deficiencies can paralyze many people, who believe they
can't make decisions and take action. A strategic response is to take advantage
of every resource that is immediately available in order to achieve as many
small results and make as much daily progress as possible. Work with every
resource and opportunity at hand, and your confidence will continually grow.

Forget about your complaints, focus on your gratitude.
When times get tough, everyone has to make a fundamental decision: to complain
or to be grateful. In an environment where negative sentiment is rampant, the
consequences of this decision are much greater. Complaining only attracts
negative thoughts and people. Gratitude, on the other hand, creates the
opportunity for the best thinking, actions, and results to emerge. Focus on
everything that you are grateful for, communicate this, and open yourself each
day to the best possible consequences.

Click here to listen to Dan Sullivan
present all ten "Scary Times" strategies.
Click here to download MP3 files or Click here to download a PDF version.
October 12, 2008
Tough Week?

Last week I wrote that trading is often stressful; and learning how to handle the emotional and physiological response patterns is an important step toward long-term success.

This week the markets were at their manic-depressive best, which can be tough for traders. Investors were like hyperactive first graders playing musical chairs.

Here are some funny videos of how some people handle their tough week.

The first video shows a man beating his computer. There is something primal about it that makes it memorable. I saw this many years ago. Yet I find myself thinking about this one from time-to-time. So, I put it first.

Here is the direct link.

I saw this one on on the Huffington Post. It has a lot going on; way too much to describe. It is more fun to just watch, anyway.

Here is the direct link.

Finally, this one shows a man in a coffee shop freaking-out after his computer hangs, apparently he has a presentation to give in ten-minutes, so getting arrested seemed like a good idea.

Here is the direct link. (Hat-Tip to Gelflog)

September 13, 2008
Tough Week?

Last week I wrote that trading is often stressful; and learning how to handle the emotional and physiological response patterns is an important step toward long-term success.

This week the markets were at their manic-depressive best, which can be tough for traders. Investors were like hyperactive first graders playing musical chairs.

Here are some funny videos of how some people handle their tough week.

The first video shows a man beating his computer. There is something primal about it that makes it memorable. I saw this many years ago. Yet I find myself thinking about this one from time-to-time. So, I put it first.

Here is the direct link.

I saw this one on on the Huffington Post. It has a lot going on; way too much to describe. It is more fun to just watch, anyway.

Here is the direct link.

Finally, this one shows a man in a coffee shop freaking-out after his computer hangs, apparently he has a presentation to give in ten-minutes, so getting arrested seemed like a good idea.

Here is the direct link. (Hat-Tip to Gelflog)

September 13, 2008
Help Your Body to Calm Down – And Your Mind Will Follow
Trading is often stressful. Learning how to handle the emotional and physiological response patterns is an important step toward long-term success.

During market turmoil, sometimes I notice the seeds of fear, uncertainty, and doubt in my body. Rather than succumbing to this, I have developed a number of coping practices and techniques.
- The first is simply to follow our trading rules and trust in the process;
- The second is to rely on automation as much as possible; and
- The third is to recognize that my body's cues are an important signal for me to take action.
One of the best ways of coping with stress, for me, is to exercise regularly.

Have you ever noticed how animals shake or tremble when they are traumatized? These physical activities may be nature's way of helping discharge stress hormones, purge excess energy and release muscle tension.

For humans, exercise is a pretty close analog to this. I know that I feel better after an hour of brisk activity to get my heart rate up, to sweat, and then to calm down. Somehow this tells my body that the agitation was expected; and now the relaxation is a good and appropriate response, too.

Another technique that works for me is to use music enhanced with tones to help me meditate or relax. An example of this is the Centerpointe Holosync package. Another set that I enjoy is Hemi-Sync music from the Monroe Institute.

When I get really stressed, though, my wife tells me that it's time for me to use my "light and sound machine." I think my using it helps her as much as me.

As the name implies, it combines visual and audio stimulation. So, how does it work? The short answer is that brain activity naturally falls in-sync with lights flashing at a certain frequencies. And you can encourage certain brain wave patterns by controlling the frequency, color and intensity of the pulses. Supplementing this with a similar technique based on sound compounds the effect.

Most of these devices include small LED lights mounted in a pair of eye glasses and headphones. The lights and sounds synchronized by a small control unit. The mind machine that I use, called a Procyon, includes 50 unique, pre-programmed light and sound stimulation sequences within its internal memory, each designed with a specific goal in mind (for example, relaxation, concentration, accelerated learning, creativity, or rejuvenation). Procyon also has the ability to synchronize with audio material on a CD or MP3 – or with AudioStrobe programs.

Behind your closed eyelids you will see a kaleidoscope of color, layers of fractals and a variety of screensaver-like imagery. Once you get used to it, the experience is quite pleasant.

It's pretty foo-foo; so I'm not going to pretend that this is 100% scientific and logical. Nonetheless, I believe that it is a lot more than a placebo. Why? Because I have empirical evidence that it works.

Most importantly, I feel better after I do it. In addition, a biofeedback machine (which measures brain waves, pulse, galvanic skin response and other stress indicators) confirms that the light and sound machine works dramatically and quickly.

It works on almost everyone I've watched try it (and I've done this with CEOs, programmers, traders, staff members, and a bunch of others). However, it does not work on people who fight it. And I am amazed at how many people fight it, initially. After a few minutes, most simply let go and let the technology un-ruffle their feathers.

The possibilities are great, and the technology is effective. However, the only way to truly appreciate the light sound experience is to try a mind machine for yourself.
September 7, 2008
Help Your Body to Calm Down – And Your Mind Will Follow
Trading is often stressful. Learning how to handle the emotional and physiological response patterns is an important step toward long-term success.

During market turmoil, sometimes I notice the seeds of fear, uncertainty, and doubt in my body. Rather than succumbing to this, I have developed a number of coping practices and techniques.
- The first is simply to follow our trading rules and trust in the process;
- The second is to rely on automation as much as possible; and
- The third is to recognize that my body's cues are an important signal for me to take action.
One of the best ways of coping with stress, for me, is to exercise regularly.

Have you ever noticed how animals shake or tremble when they are traumatized? These physical activities may be nature's way of helping discharge stress hormones, purge excess energy and release muscle tension.

For humans, exercise is a pretty close analog to this. I know that I feel better after an hour of brisk activity to get my heart rate up, to sweat, and then to calm down. Somehow this tells my body that the agitation was expected; and now the relaxation is a good and appropriate response, too.

Another technique that works for me is to use music enhanced with tones to help me meditate or relax. An example of this is the Centerpointe Holosync package. Another set that I enjoy is Hemi-Sync music from the Monroe Institute.

When I get really stressed, though, my wife tells me that it's time for me to use my "light and sound machine." I think my using it helps her as much as me.

As the name implies, it combines visual and audio stimulation. So, how does it work? The short answer is that brain activity naturally falls in-sync with lights flashing at a certain frequencies. And you can encourage certain brain wave patterns by controlling the frequency, color and intensity of the pulses. Supplementing this with a similar technique based on sound compounds the effect.

Most of these devices include small LED lights mounted in a pair of eye glasses and headphones. The lights and sounds synchronized by a small control unit. The mind machine that I use, called a Procyon, includes 50 unique, pre-programmed light and sound stimulation sequences within its internal memory, each designed with a specific goal in mind (for example, relaxation, concentration, accelerated learning, creativity, or rejuvenation). Procyon also has the ability to synchronize with audio material on a CD or MP3 – or with AudioStrobe programs.

Behind your closed eyelids you will see a kaleidoscope of color, layers of fractals and a variety of screensaver-like imagery. Once you get used to it, the experience is quite pleasant.

It's pretty foo-foo; so I'm not going to pretend that this is 100% scientific and logical. Nonetheless, I believe that it is a lot more than a placebo. Why? Because I have empirical evidence that it works.

Most importantly, I feel better after I do it. In addition, a biofeedback machine (which measures brain waves, pulse, galvanic skin response and other stress indicators) confirms that the light and sound machine works dramatically and quickly.

It works on almost everyone I've watched try it (and I've done this with CEOs, programmers, traders, staff members, and a bunch of others). However, it does not work on people who fight it. And I am amazed at how many people fight it, initially. After a few minutes, most simply let go and let the technology un-ruffle their feathers.

The possibilities are great, and the technology is effective. However, the only way to truly appreciate the light sound experience is to try a mind machine for yourself.
September 7, 2008
Doing What Works – Insight Happens in an Instant

Colin Powell said that "There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure."

On the other hand, I've found that insight often happens in an instant.

In Kung Fu Panda,
an overweight, seemingly uncoordinated panda transforms into the
unlikely hero of the story who battles evil and saves his village. The
turning point? His teacher recognized that during a quest for a snack,
nothing could keep our hero from his food. By integrating that in the
training routine, a star was born.

OK, that was a Disney movie. Maybe you want a real-life example?

My
youngest son, Zach, is learning to drive. Currently, I am working on
improving his mental map of where he is, where he is going, and how to
get there.

My early assessment was that he did not have much of
a sense of direction. This was making our time in the car together
either existentially funny – or stressful – depending on my mood.

"What
comes next?" was often followed by a blank look or a head shake. The
answer to "Which way do we turn?" was a seemingly random "north,"
"south," "east," "west," "right," or "left" — or sometimes several of
them.

Apparently, I was asking the wrong questions. He has an
encyclopedic knowledge of where restaurants are, and an uncanny ability
to get there. We just have to plot his course with the right
milestones (fast-food, pizza and ice cream).

He explained to me, "hey, I just do what works." And that makes a lot of sense; I'm just glad he found something that works.

August 31, 2008
Doing What Works – Insight Happens in an Instant

Colin Powell said that "There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure."

On the other hand, I've found that insight often happens in an instant.

In Kung Fu Panda,
an overweight, seemingly uncoordinated panda transforms into the
unlikely hero of the story who battles evil and saves his village. The
turning point? His teacher recognized that during a quest for a snack,
nothing could keep our hero from his food. By integrating that in the
training routine, a star was born.

OK, that was a Disney movie. Maybe you want a real-life example?

My
youngest son, Zach, is learning to drive. Currently, I am working on
improving his mental map of where he is, where he is going, and how to
get there.

My early assessment was that he did not have much of
a sense of direction. This was making our time in the car together
either existentially funny – or stressful – depending on my mood.

"What
comes next?" was often followed by a blank look or a head shake. The
answer to "Which way do we turn?" was a seemingly random "north,"
"south," "east," "west," "right," or "left" — or sometimes several of
them.

Apparently, I was asking the wrong questions. He has an
encyclopedic knowledge of where restaurants are, and an uncanny ability
to get there. We just have to plot his course with the right
milestones (fast-food, pizza and ice cream).

He explained to me, "hey, I just do what works." And that makes a lot of sense; I'm just glad he found something that works.

August 31, 2008