I was lucky enough to spend time with family and friends watching the Cowboys make the Los Angeles Chargers look good.
My mother always used to lead the table in answering "What are you thankful for?" After the groaning subsided, we would answer. Typically, the focus was predictable – family, togetherness, and health.
Those answers neglect a pivotal part of our happiness. People often view happiness or gratitude as a consequence of their surroundings … of good things happening in the world around them.
A different, but potentially related question is … does money buy happiness?
I asked my son, Zach, to answer … Here is what he compiled.
Happiness is a complex issue. It differs from culture to culture, and more granularly from person to person.
One of the more basic questions is, where are the happiest people?
Unfortunately, finding out where the happiest people are doesn't tell us how to be happy. In fact, there's a whole section of economics called Happiness Economics that strives to figure it out.
Most studies show that money doesn't buy happiness … above a certain point.
The studies show that there's an income level (relative to your cost of living) where increased money does not increase happiness. For example, in Hawaii, it would be $122,175, but in Mississippi, the threshold is only $65,850. Essentially, past subsistence, other factors matter more. Quality of life and work/life balance being two key ones.
The Easterlin Paradox states that while individuals in higher GDP countries were more likely to report happiness, it doesn't hold at a national level, creating the paradox.
The existence of a hedonic treadmill - or set point of happiness – may be up to debate, but this hits on an important distinction. Most people start yearning for money as a means of protection and care for themselves and their families, but don't change their goals once they've accomplished that.
If obtaining more money comes at the cost of your happiness is it worth it?
Finding the right balance can be hard. With most high-achievers, there's always a best next step, a new mountain to climb, a tougher challenge to surmount … and nothing is ever enough.
While achievement drives me as well, I think the story below is worth considering below.
The Story of The Mexican Fisherman:
An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”
The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”
To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”
“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.
The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”
“Millions – then what?”
The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”
Finding your own personal brand of happiness is vital … to your success, your companies success, and the success of your relationships, and I was reminded of a video my dad shot on zero-based thinking.
To be happy, or successful, are there things you need to stop doing? Something you want to start doing? Or things you need to do more of? Food for thought to pair with your leftovers from Thanksgiving.
Alan is a wealth manager to the ultra-wealthy. His American Dreams show is very popular in Silicon Valley.
It's a show about finding your path in life, and making businesses thrive through adversity and challenging economic times.
We talked about my career path and how I went from a young lawyer to spending over 25 years running tech companies … and we talked about the lessons I learned along the way.
It is different than other interviews I've done. Take a look.
How tempting is it to photoshop (or embellish) a little? In a recent survey of 2000 British people, more than 75% admitted to lying about themselves on social profiles.
Here is a chart ranking the most common topics people are most dishonest about.
Yesterday was Yom Kippur, one of the High Holy Days for Jews, otherwise known as the Day of Atonement.
As part of the holiday, we read down a list of sins (text available here), apologizing for the ones that we committed, and asking forgiveness. In addition, we promise to do better next year.
It's really interesting how little human nature has changed in the past several thousand years. The list of sins is just as relevant today as I imagine it was back then.
In Part 2, I talked about normalizing your habits and picking consistent, normalized metrics. This doesn't just work at the gym; it applies to life and business as well.
Today, I want to explain how and why this helps. To do so, we will talk about controlling your arousal states.
Chemically, most arousal states are the same. Meaning, the same hormones and neurotransmitters that make you feel fear also can make you feel excited. They affect your heart rate, respiration, etc. … Though, the outside stimuli you experience likely determines how you interpret what is happening.
In most situations, a heart rate of 170 beats per minute is an indicator of extreme danger (or an impending toe-tag). If I felt my heart racing like that in a meeting, it might trigger a fight or flight instinct. I prefer conscious and controlled responses. So, I train myself to recognize what I can control and to respond accordingly.
One way I do that is by being mindful of heart rate zones during exercise.
My goal is to get as close to 170 bpm as I can, then stay in that peak zone for as long as possible.
Here is a chart showing a Fitbit readout of a recent exercise session.
As you can see, every time I reach my limit … I get my heart rate back down. It becomes a conscious and controlled learned behavior.
It's a form of biofeedback; it's not only gotten me better at controlling what happens after my heartrate reaches 170 but at identifying when I'm close even without a monitor.
Now, when my heart rate is at 170 bpm(regardless of the situation), I don't feel anxious … I think about what I want to do.
This is a very useful tool.
It's the same with trading … Does a loss or error harsh your mellow – or is it a trigger to do what you are supposed to do.
Getting used to normalized risk creates opportunity.
When you are comfortable operating at a pace, or in an environment, that others find difficult – you have a profound advantage and edge.
