My adult son took me to lunch today for Father’s Day.
Not just any lunch, either. He took me to the New York-style deli we used to visit when he and his brother were growing up. It’s one of those places that has been around forever. The booths are familiar. The menu hasn’t changed much. Even some of the faces behind the counter looked familiar—just a little older, like the rest of us.
I don’t know whether it was nostalgia talking, but the food seemed just as good as I remembered.
What I remembered most, though, was what happened after lunch. Back when my son was a kid, he would always beg to stop by the card shop next door to buy Pokémon cards. It was practically part of the ritual.
Well, today, at 33 years young, he did it again.
For old times’ sake, he walked next door, browsed the cards, and relived a small tradition that neither of us realized would still be around decades later.
Moments like that remind you that having great kids is a double blessing. It’s nice to be proud of who your kids are and the things they do. It’s also nice to feel proud of the small part you played in helping them become who they are.
In addition, this weekend, I spent some time thinking about my father and what a terrific influence he had on so many lives.
My Dad was incredibly loving … yet he was also incredibly demanding.
For example, after winning the State Championship in the shot put, I watched him run down from the stands. I figured he was coming down to celebrate. Instead, he looked deeply into my eyes and asked whether I was disappointed that I did not throw a personal best that day? I replied: “But Dad, I won.” He smiled and recognized that winning was important too … then he reminded me that the other throwers were not my real competition. To be and do your best, the competition is really with yourself … and we both knew I could do better.
My Dad believed in setting high standards. He explained that most people’s lives are defined by their minimum standards. Why? Because once those standards get met, it is easy to get distracted by other things and how to meet the minimum standards for them as well.
The point is to set a higher standard and to have a better life.
Here is another one of his favorite sayings. “The difference between good and great is infinitesimal.” This applies to many things. For example, people who are good take advantage of opportunities; people who are great create them.
Here is something else worth sharing. “It’s not over until we win!” This concept underscores the importance of resilience, commitment, and grit. My Dad emphasized that many people quit when they’re on the brink of victory, simply because they don’t realize how close they are.
This has led me to develop several practices. For example, if I pick up a book, I won’t put it down until I finish a chapter. If I start a game, I can’t stop until I exceed a specific score or level. And when I exercise, there’s no way I’d ever stop before finishing a set.
Integrating these concepts involves aligning your head, heart, and feet. It means there’s a difference between knowing what to do, wanting to do it, and actually doing it. Likewise, it’s one thing to know the saying. It’s another to adopt it as a value or belief … and it’s another thing altogether to make it your practice.
Watching my son walk into that card shop today made me think about how values, habits, and traditions get passed from one generation to the next. Sometimes it’s through lessons about standards, perseverance, and excellence. Sometimes it’s through something as simple as sharing a sandwich at an old deli and buying a pack of Pokémon cards.
The years go by faster than we expect. The deli gets older. The people behind the counter get older. We get older.
But some traditions are worth keeping.
Well, that should explain a little of my dysfunction … but, if you can’t mess up your own kids, whose kids can you mess up?
Hopefully, you had a happy Father’s Day weekend!
Leave a Reply